Learning to set boundaries during the divorce process
Whether you chose to file for divorce or were blindsided by a spouse’s divorce filing, once the divorce process has been set in motion; there’s going to be a lot of changes that occur in your life. In addition to the general feelings of anxiety and worry you’ll likely experience as you attempt to sort out matters related to child custody, finances and real estate; you’ll also likely experience a range of difficult, confusing and conflicting emotions.
When going through any major life change, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are loving and supportive. Unfortunately, even friends and family members who may truly believe that they have your best interests in mind may, at times, let you down.
While the reactions and advice of some friends and family members may disappoint, but not entirely surprise you; the reactions of others may be unexpected and even downright hurtful. From the meddlers and pot stirrers to the antagonists and haters; it’s important to learn to limit what you share with certain people and to allow yourself to be lifted up by those who are positive and supportive.
In some cases, for your own sanity and wellbeing, it may even be necessary to limit contact with certain individuals. This may be true in cases where a mutual friend appears to relish in relaying sordid details about your ex’s new love interest or insists on blaming you for the breakup of your marriage. While relatives and mutual friends are likely to have their own opinions about your divorce, it doesn’t mean that you necessarily care or want to know what they think.
With divorce comes the opportunity to make positive changes in your life. For many people, setting healthy boundaries and re-exerting independence are key components to this process. If you’re concerned that certain friends or family members are more intent on tearing you down than building you up, now more than ever it’s important to do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your children.
Source: Huffington Post, “In a Divorce, Who Is in Your Circle of Influences?,” Stacy D. Phillips, Jan. 15, 2016
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