Every divorce is different. Although not all divorces are as dramatic and combative as television and the media suggest, some are. The emotions and life changes that occur during a divorce can lead even the most level-headed people to act spitefully.

When your spouse is making the divorce process difficult, it can seem appealing to treat them as poorly as they are treating you. You may also want to argue with their perspective, as disagreements are often the root cause of divorces in the first place. However, there are healthy and mature ways to navigate contentious divorces. These can minimize delays and help keep arguing to a minimum.

Our team is here to represent you, regardless of the nature of your divorce.

  1. Keep Your Distance

    In litigation divorces, each spouse has their own attorney. This professional is tasked with negotiating on behalf of their client and establishing resolutions to conflicts between the two spouses. The benefit of this is that you have fewer reasons to be in contact with your spouse. Keeping a physical and verbal distance can make your divorce process easier to navigate. Utilize the benefit of having an attorney by directing all your spouse’s messages or questions to your lawyer.

  2. Avoid Social Media

    Although many people use social media to vent about their problems, it is unwise to do so during a divorce, especially a high-conflict one. If you talk about your divorce online, your spouse’s attorney may use the information against you. Speaking ill of your spouse can make you seem like a spiteful parent. It will also cause further issues in your divorce.

    If you must vent or complain about your divorce, do so in person with trusted friends and family.

  3. Set Co-Parenting Aside

    Co-parenting is a great system for many families, but it is difficult or impossible when you and your co-parent are going through a combative divorce. It can help to set aside your co-parenting aspirations for the time being. You and your spouse cannot communicate. Therefore, your children will simply be in a different environment when they are with your spouse for the time being.

    Know that collaboration and co-parenting are not out of the question for the future. However, it can be healthy to set your expectations aside while your divorce is finalized.

  4. Take Time for Yourself

    Going through a difficult divorce takes a physical and emotional toll. Be sure to spend time caring for yourself and your own needs during this time. Designating time to put aside thoughts of the divorce and practice healthy habits can greatly improve your emotional state and better allow you to be present for your family during this time.

  5. Seek Professional Help

    Seeing a therapist or counselor can be incredibly helpful for many reasons during a divorce. A therapist offers a safe environment in which to have productive conversations about what you are enduring. Processing your feelings in a guided and healthy way can create immense change for your attitude and outlook. It can also offer you the tools to navigate the difficult situation that you are in.

Do I Need an Attorney for a Contentious Divorce?

Attorneys are technically optional for divorces. However, it is extremely important to invest in legal counsel if you are going through a contentious divorce process. If you try to navigate the situation alone, you will have to negotiate directly with your spouse. This often leads to arguments and very slow progress. In other scenarios, you may have to negotiate with your spouse’s attorney. This means that you will likely end up with unfavorable divorce terms.

To avoid these situations, it is in your interest to hire a lawyer. When you have an attorney, you do not have to speak directly to your spouse or their attorney at all. You and your lawyer will talk about your desired terms and agreements. They can then negotiate with your spouse’s attorney on your behalf.


Q: Is Mediation Possible in a Contentious Divorce?

A: Mediation is not recommended for couples who cannot effectively communicate. If your divorce is contentious, you and your spouse will likely be unable to negotiate directly with one another, which is the format of mediation. Instead, it is more effective for you each to hire attorneys who will negotiate with one another on your behalf. Mediation is not an option for many couples. It is recommended only for those with amicable or simple separations.

Q: What If My Spouse Is Harassing Me During Our Divorce?

A: Direct your spouse and their attorney to your own legal representation. Then, ask your spouse to refrain from contacting you. They need to respect your request. If they do not, you may be able to file a protective order against your spouse. This will limit their ability to legally contact you or be in your vicinity. It is important to remember that domestic violence occurs in many different ways, including stalking or repeated unwanted contact.

Q: Can I Get Custody Because My Spouse Is Being Aggressive During Divorce?

A: Your actions during the divorce process can inform a judge’s decision about custody. Although this behavior is not the only consideration, a judge will note if a spouse is being particularly argumentative, combative, or difficult. Poor behavior in court does not reflect well on a person’s character. If it occurs with your spouse, you may get more custody as a result.

Q: What Is an Uncontested Divorce?

A: In any divorce, one spouse files the paperwork with an outline of the terms of the divorce. This paperwork is then served to the other spouse. The other spouse may decide not to challenge the terms that the filing spouse set forth. If so, they accept the documents, and the divorce is uncontested.

Uncontested divorces do not happen often. However, they are the fastest and most economical way to get divorced.

Contact Stange Law Firm in Springfield, IL

Our team at Stange Law Firm is here to support you throughout your divorce process. Regardless of your circumstances or the emotions involved, we can provide reliable, steadfast legal counsel.

For more information, contact Stange Law Firm.