It’s no secret that getting divorced is an enormous emotional change in your life. It’s going to come with significant baggage and turmoil that you will need to deal with in your own time. Even if you are the one who filed for divorce, this may not be what you ever actually wanted. No one gets married with the intention of one day getting divorced. Throughout the divorce process, you need to make sure you take care of yourself. A Springfield divorce lawyer can help you.
As you navigate what could be a painful and contentious divorce process, you may be so focused on separating ties with your ex that you forget to be there for yourself. Maintaining your emotional, mental, and physical health is a crucial part of the process. You need to consistently reassure yourself that you have the strength to carry on with your life when this is all over, and that can be easier said than done. The right lawyer can help you make a consistent plan.
The Unpleasantness of Divorce
Everyone who chooses to go through with a divorce does so for their own unique reasons. Everyone has a line they will not allow to be crossed. If their spouse crosses that line, divorce becomes a viable option for their future. The contributing factors of your divorce may be a series of events or a singular moment that changed everything in your relationship. It’s your choice to get divorced, and you should never let anyone convince you that your reasons don’t matter.
Even if your divorce is uncontested and relatively smooth, it’s still likely going to be a painful experience. After all, you are ending a marriage that you intended to last the rest of your life. Coming to terms with that can be a lot to handle. You may be feeling like you’ve lost in life, and you don’t know what to do next. Divorce does not equate to failure. It simply means you refused to be unhappy in your marriage and are choosing to do right by yourself.
Don’t forget that you won’t be the only one affected by your divorce. It will affect your circle of friends, your extended family, your children, and even your job performance. This is a significant moment of your life that will undoubtedly impact the remainder of it. It’s up to you to determine if that impact is going to be positive or negative. Everyone experiences divorce in a different way. You may be ready to move on immediately, or it could take you years to accept it.
According to statistics gathered by the CDC, Illinois has one of the lowest divorce rates in the entire country, at only 1.1 per 1,000 residents as of 2022. At the same time, the marriage rate is fairly high, with over 52% of polled individuals from the Illinois Department of Public Health (IDPH) claiming they were married. As you deal with your divorce, you may want to consider leaning on a local support group like The Lilac Tree or DivorceCare. They can help.
How to Cope With Your Divorce
While everyone copes with stress and trauma differently, there are several things you can do to cope better with everything that’s happening to you. Your lawyer can help provide you with legal strategies to make the whole process smoother for you, and it’s important that you take some time to let yourself breathe. Here are some potential coping strategies you can use to make yourself feel more hopeful about the future:
- Take comfort in your support system. It is important to surround yourself with people who want to be there for you. Allow family, friends, neighbors, and even your work colleagues to be present for you. The more support you have during this trying time, the better you may feel about the future.
- You may want to consider establishing a goal for your immediate future. Having something to work toward can provide a welcome distraction from the divorce process. You may want to take a vacation when this is over. You may want to relocate to a new house. Above all, you should leave your marriage firmly in the past and focus on the road ahead of you.
- Don’t let anyone try to infringe on your boundaries. You may have people trying to convince you that divorce is a mistake or that setting boundaries is wrong. Your spouse may try to continually insert themselves into your life. It’s up to you to decide if they deserve a place in your life going forward. If the answer is no, you have every right to cut them out and leave them in your past.
FAQs
Q: Should I Hire a Divorce Lawyer?
A: Yes, you should hire a divorce lawyer. Going through a divorce can be a difficult and overwhelming process. Depending on your situation, a lawyer’s help may be indispensable as you protect yourself from financial ruin. If your divorce is contested, it can end up being unpredictable, painful, and hard to navigate on your own. A good divorce lawyer can help you make an effective plan.
Q: How Does Equitable Distribution Work?
A: In Illinois, marital assets are divided in accordance with the equitable distribution model. This model ensures that each spouse receives a fair split of community property as determined by the family court. Fair and equal are not interchangeable in this instance. The court uses many contributing factors to determine how much each spouse should receive in the split.
Q: Which Parent Gets Custody?
A: There is no way to determine which parent will get custody of any children before the divorce process has begun. In Illinois, mothers and fathers are both viewed as equal parents with equal levels of responsibility to care for their children. When determining custody, the court will look at each parent’s contributions towards childcare so far, among other factors. It’s likely the court will push for joint custody.
Q: Is Getting a Divorce Worth It?
A: Only you can answer that question. Everyone gets divorced for their own reasons, and your reasons are just as valid as anyone else’s. If you feel that your spouse has betrayed your trust or you have fallen out of love with them, you should seriously consider divorce. You may be better for it in the long run.
Contact a Lawyer
At Stange Law Firm, we can help you finalize your divorce in your favor. Contact us to speak to a team member about your case.
